gloomy

my weather forecast says that i will remain gloomy for the next couple of days

so, here's the thing
what would you do if you want something so bad, but you are just not entitled to?
tsk tsk...

you see, i've been wanting to do this one particular thing
and i've been longing to do it for months already
every day i just secretly hoping that my wish would come true
and that my prayers will be answered
but somehow i just have the feeling that i won't be able to do it
that i might not be able to fulfill it
and as hard as i'm telling myself that i can
it'll turn out pointless at the end
huhu
 
well, that supposed 'thing' is a stupid 'thing' really
and i guess it's wise not to mention here
yeah, even hubby says that my so-called-depression is unworthy for
he's not in my shoes
he will never understands how i feel

help!
i don't know how i can cope